Lim Swee Kim and Tan Yulin

Lim Swee Kim: 

When I was 9 years old, I learnt about family responsibilities. I had to care for our home when my parents were out for work, and often cooked rice for my siblings after our grandmother passed away at 88 years of age. During my younger brother’s first day in Primary 1 at school, he was scared and cried non stop for more than an hour. His teacher asked me to comfort him, so I hugged him and could not stop my tears. A newspaper reporter took our ‘crying’ photo and it was on the front page of our local papers.

When I was 14 years old, I learnt about self responsibility. My school gave my friends and I many opportunities to learn new skills such as sewing, cooking, singing, dancing and all sorts of sports and games. There were many rules to remember but it was fun as my friends and I learnt so much together. Any suffering we felt was made lighter and more enjoyable as we had each other for mutual support. We learnt to take responsibility for our words and actions. And we were thrilled when any one of us did well!

When I was 19 years old, I moved into a hostel called Raffles Hall in NUS. Initially it was a shock as orientation was physically and mentally exhausting. But my friends and I persevered and we learnt so much about community responsibilities. There is so much we can do for each other to benefit ourselves and others. I learnt to organise concerts, dramas, programmes, games and all kinds of communal living activities to enhance the lives of our community. It was an amazing growth experience as I officially became an adult during these years.

I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl on 20th October 1996, when I was 30 years old. The abundant love and joy I felt holding my newborn baby! I had been reading lots of books and magazines, talking to mothers and parents of any age to learn about my new parental responsibilities. It was during these years when I learnt to care and nurture another human-being. Despite all the challenging moments, I would not trade it for anything in the world! Becoming a parent was truly a proud life-changing experience which I would recommend to everyone.

During my 40s, when family and work responsibilities were more manageable, I decided to give part of my time, effort and/or finances to communities whom I could relate with, especially also with the other volunteers involved. Many of us felt passionate about the causes we were involved in and learned so much about social responsibilities, even supporting animals, nature, climate and all sorts of causes which will make the world a better place for ourselves and our future generations. 

Tan Yulin: 

That was one of the shortest yet most accurate autobiographies I’ve ever read. As one of the few who know her best, I can attest that my mother, Kim, embodies those values in her daily life. She has always been a huge inspiration to me and taught me about life with those values.

“Family will always be here for you no matter what.” These are the words she always said to me. I always understood what she meant but never truly felt it was when I was younger. Throughout my growing up years, I felt that friends were the most important part of my life. It was only when I grew up and looked back on life that I realised my only constant was family and that my mother was right after all.

Besides love for family, my mother emphasised on responsibility. Not just responsibility for self but also for others. I was taught to own up when I made mistakes. Unlike some of my friends whose helpers would bring books for them to school when they forgot to pack them, my mother would never allow my helper to bring anything for me. She wanted me to take responsibility for myself. That was how I learnt self responsibility.

Having been inspired by my mother’s volunteer work, I decided to be a community volunteer myself. The sense of fulfilment and happiness I gained from seeing the smiling faces of the beneficiaries was indescribable. It was through volunteering that I learnt about community responsibility and caring for others. The sense of fulfilment I got from volunteering lasted through my working life and propelled me to work in the social service sector.

As I sat on the sofa with my mother’s autobiography still in my lap, I looked up to see my mother ironing the clothes. Tears of gratitude filled my eyes as I realised how thankful I am for my mother and for the vibrant childhood she gave me.